When I'm Not Chasing Demons, There's Demons Chasing Me

I don't believe in this so called 'normal life'.

My circle of life doesn't fit in the square white picket fence.

I believe in the free.

I believe in the daring.

I believe straight is the way and narrow is the gate to our way Home,

But my gate is strewn with flowers,

And my way is paved with adventure and draped with wonder.

Life can all be taken away in a snap of a finger.

It comes with no time outs or second chances.

So root your happiness in something deep.

Water it with love and service.

Laugh right in the face of insecurity.

Pay no mind to inhibitions.

Although others will let you down, love freely, give freely.

Don't be afraid to have your heart broken, or to break another's.

All the pain just reminds you of how alive you are.

Don't live your life depending on tomorrow.

Enjoy each day like it's your first, and live each day like it's your last.

Leave your mark by being yourself.

Don't settle for the life others deem best just because they don't have the guts to reach for something greater.

Find your passions and live for them.

Breathe for them. Die for them.

This world needs people like you and I.

This world needs those who feel like they're on a different page than everyone else.

Those who feel like they were meant to do something extraordinary.

Those who have a desire to reach beyond themselves and hold the hand of those who need lifting.

Those who break away.

Those who do what they love and love what they do.

One brave person can make a difference.

Push yourself to your limits.

Stand right on the edge with no fear.

Stretch yourself beyond what you originally thought possible.

Breathe in deep.

Yesterday has vanished and tomorrow may never come.

But in today, there is power.

Take pictures, hold hands, smile, laugh, kiss, work hard, dream big, stay true, be bold.

Most importantly, believe in yourself.

-Staci Emery

So, I've been going through a very strange mix of emotions the past few days.
My parents and I headed down to Dallas for the weekend on Friday.
I was feeling good that day.
I had a drink.
My music.
No work for a few days.
And the open road in front of me.
I love that feeling.
I love the feeling of being free.
I want my life to be something extraordinary.
My mission is only the beginning of a great life for me.
I want adventure.
I hope to forever have this little part of me that itches constantly to get outside.
To travel.
To see new places.
To reach out to those around me.
I want to get my hands dirty.
I want my family to be involved with exploring this world and making their mark by making it a better place.
I want to wake up everyday and feel like I'm living the greatest life ever lived.
I want my children to feel loved and free to express themselves.
I want my husband to feel like the luckiest man on earth.
I don't want anyone to ever hold me back.
If people can't do something themselves they want to tell you that you can't do it. 
This world needs people who break out of the norm and routine and do something else.
This world needs people who soak up every single ounce of life and let it flow out to others, inspiring them to find their passions and go after them.
I also was having a battle within my mind this weekend.
I just felt like I was being bombarded with my old self.
I tried so hard to push all those thoughts away.
I was talking to a friend who is trying to better himself and I told him that it's in those moments of when you're torn between both sides that you really learn how to trust Heavenly Father.
When you let go of yourself and your mistakes and you allow Heavenly Father to take control and allow Him to help you rise above your past you find so much strength within yourself.
I've applied that before and I had to apply it again this weekend.
I am really learning how to lean on Heavenly Father.
I feel myself becoming so much stronger.
I am able to more easily let go of what I want and any unrighteous desires I may have and choose the right way.
It's not always easy, but I am being blessed with the strength to do it.
So, it is becoming easier and easier.

& I Continue To Grow And Change

SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOL'S

OUT

FOR SUMMER!

Kind of....

I'm taking a summer class that starts on June 6th, so I get three weeks off.

I finished everything last Thursday.

That was a bizarre feeling.

Mostly a feeling of relief.

Just one more class and I won't have to deal with school for 18 months.

SUCKAAAAAAS ;).

It was Bethany and Jessica's last days forever at OCCC.

I'll probably end taking a couple classes that will transfer to UCO once I get back.

Because it's cheaper :).

Anyway.....in memory of it being their last day we all took a bunch of pictures together and went out to lunch.

I have really loved going to OCCC.

I took classes there my senior year of high school and just continued there to do my gen eds.

It's a really great school.

I have a lot of fun memories.

I'm so grateful that I was able to meet Bethany and Jessica.

I know Bethany was sad for all of us to go our own directions in the next few months.

She's so loving and such a great friend like that.

We will definitely remain friends and stay in contact.

I have no doubt about it.

You ladies better write me while I'm on my mission!!

Since I've moved around a couple times I'm kind of used to saying goodbye to people and never seeing them again.

It's also made me not like goodbyes at all.

So, if I seem like I don't care that I'm saying goodbye, please know that I do care.

I may avoid the goodbye because I know it's not goodbye forever.

I'm also so grateful for the support I've received from those ladies with my decision to serve a mission.

They're not even members of my church but they're both so excited for me and can't wait to find out where I'll go.

Thank you so much for supporting me!

I love this song A LOT.

My life is becoming so beautiful.

Every day it gets better.

Deciding to serve a mission has been the best decision I could make.

I had marriage options but those didn't bring me the peace and happiness I needed.

Preparing to serve has brought me more peace and happiness than I could ever ask for.

I feel it surrounding and enfolding me washing away every hurt and pain I've ever felt.

Every day tears of gratitude and happiness fill my eyes.

I can't imagine doing anything else with my life right now.

I'm glad that I have the opportunity to take what I'm learning now and what I will learn out on my mission and use it for my future life.

Future family, future career, future whatever.

It all will be better because of my decision to serve.

Dream On

I had a lot of crazy dreams last night.

I had my first dream where I was on my mission.

I think it's weird that I've never dreamed about that before.

This one was SO VIVID.

So incredibly vivid.

I can still feel the excitement and happiness in my chest that I felt in my dream.

When I looked down at myself I saw my name tag with Sister Emery.

I was speaking English so that's a good sign ;).

As some of you know, I'm a littleeeeeeee nervous to have to learn a new language.

It was so disappointing .......and almost confusing when I woke up.

I was like, dangggg it.......it was just a dream.

Do you think I'm excited to go or what? ;)

I just wish December would hurry uppppp.

At least, I hope that's when I leave.

Cross your fingers.

I've noticed as I have continued to prepare for the mish I have started to care less and less about certain things.

I have been able to focus on things that MATTER and cut out the minor details that don't.

I have learned the importance of soaking up every moment as well.

There are a lot of 'last time for 18 months' moments that have passed.

Like birthdays and holidays.

I know I am coming back but I want to develop the attitude of soaking up every moment and letting nothing pass by me.

This life is so short and we never know when our time is up.

This is something I have really been thinking about a lot the past week.

It was my friend's birthday and I bought him the long board that he wanted.....and if you don't know, long boards ARE NOT cheap.

Well right after I bought it I got a text from him that said he almost died and he was on his way to the clinic where he was working.

I won't go into details there but he's still alive.

It made me stop and think about how much value and time and effort we put into material possessions.

If he had died that long board would be worthless.

What would be of worth is the time spent with him.

The love and care and kindness showed to him.

I'm grateful for that step back I was able to take in that moment.

The older I have become the less value I have put into material possessions.

But after this past week I think I have come to understand it on a better level.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having nice things and presenting ourselves and our homes in an attractive manner.

But don't let that be our focus and drive.

I have learned that there is something bigger and greater to set our sights and hearts on.

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

Matthew 6:19–21

Even On My Weakest Days, I Get A Little Bit Stronger

I had a pretty good weekend with Mother's Day and all.

Saturday my mom, my sister and I went to Yukon for our friend's baby shower.

This girl and I were BEST friends throughout elementary school.

Almost inseparable.

Our parents were friends as well

It was a sad day when my family decided to pack up and move to Utah for a few years.

But it was good to see her and I wish her the best of luck with her little one.

On Sunday the grandparents came over and we had chicken, shrimp grits and green beans.

Yummers.

Shelbi and I (mostly Shelbi) made cupcakes.

I just helped out with the lady bugs and Shelbi did everything else.

After that Mom and Mema opened their gifts.

Then we all just had good ol' family time.

 

 

 

 Skyping with family in Virginia! 

 

Create Your Own Life & Then Go Out & Live It

GAHLEE!
PRAISE THE LORD!
So, I'm taking an Intro. to Computers & Applications class and the unit we're on is Access.
WELL let me tell YOU...
I have been fighting that STUPID thing for WEEKS!!!!!!!!
I could not figure out for the life of me how in the heck to do the homework.
Like serious stressing.
Almost in tears at the library.
It's an online class and my teacher is MIA most of the time.
The homework is due this Saturday so this week I knew I had to buckle down and try to figure it out.
I prayed for help, because I seriously could not do it.
WELL yesterday AND today I finished the homework and got an A on the test.
WA! BAM!
Thank you Heavenly Father.
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.
Soooooooooo glad that's over.
Now I'm on to Power Point.
That one is in the baaaaaag ;).


Also, I'm a little obsessed with this song right now...


I don't really know how I got here
But I'm sure glad that I did
And it's crazy to think that ONE LITTLE THING
Could have changed all of it

Maybe it didn't turn out like I planned
Maybe that's why I'm SUCH a lucky [woman]


For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the [guys] that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
THANK GOD for all I missed
Because I led me here to this


Like the [guy] that I loved in High School
Who said [he] could do better
Or that college I wanted to go to
Until I got that letter

All the fights and the tears and the heartache

I thought I'd never get through
And the moment I almost gave up
All led me here to you

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the [guys] that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
THANK GOD for all I missed
Because I led me here to this

I didn't understand it way back when
But sitting here right now it all makes perfect sense

How I cried when my [grandpa] passed away
But now I've got an angel looking out for me today
SO NOTHING IS A MISTAKE

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the [guys] that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
THANK GOD for all I missed
Because it led me here to this
IT LED ME HERE TO THIS

-This, Darius Rucker

I LOVE THIS SONG.

I think I have listened to it twenty times already today.

It's just so true that little things change our course of direction and lead us to where we are supposed to be.

Where we will be most happy.

I think back to events and choices and situations and happenings and small moments that have led me to where I am today and like the song says, 'it all makes perfect sense'.

I have really learned not to complain too much when things don't go the way we planned.

It happens for a reason.

Trust me :).

Things DEFINITELY DID NOT go the way I planned but hey, I am the happiest and most satisfied I have been my whole life.

Heavenly Father has it under control.

He knows what He's doing.

Trust Him. 

My sister shared this note with me one time. 

I absolutely love it.

Please read it. 

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be - your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles, you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity - all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience - they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it

Everything Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright

I feel my Savior’s love

In all the world around me.

His Spirit warms my soul

Through everything I see.

I feel my Savior’s love;

Its gentleness enfolds me,

And when I kneel to pray,

My heart is filled with peace.

I’ll share my Savior’s love

By serving others freely.

In serving I am blessed.

In giving I receive.

He knows I will follow him,

Give all my life to him.

I feel my Savior’s love,

The love he freely gives me

-I Feel My Savior's Love

On Saturday my friend Thomas and I went to Frontier City.

His birthday is coming up so that was one of my gifts to him.

I think every church group and middle school in the Oklahoma City and Tulsa metros were there.

We had a good time though watching all the 'middle schoolers' while we walked around and waited in line at the rides.

We both agreed that we're glad that time in our lives is over.

 

 

 

 

 Ok this 'ride' is a car that you can drive around on a track.

That was the hardest thing ever! 

I couldn't drive straight to safe my life.

 After a lot of convincing I got him to go on the carousel with me.

It's one of my favorites.

 

 

 I love roller coasters but I told him I feel like I'm getting too old to ride them anymore.

The anticipation kills me.

I can't handle it.

It was so much fun and the weather was so nice.

It was a little chilly in the morning but once the day warmed up it was perfect.

I watched this video when I was getting ready for the day this morning.

I love the part when she asked the homeless man his thoughts on civility.

He says he thinks it comes more from your heart, but a lot of people think it comes more from your pocket.

He says it doesn't cost one penny to be polite.

"Life is perfect for none of us.

Rather and being judgmental or critical of each other,

may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life."

-Thomas S. Monson

Each day my gratitude continues to grow.

This morning when I knelt to pray my eyes filled with tears.

I am so overwhelmed and overcome by the love of my Savior. 

He continues to support me and guide me.

And a side note-I don't know what the heck is wrong with me these days.

I cry so much.

They are tears of gratitude and joy but I'm just like come on Staci, get yourself together girl. 

Quit crying so much! ;).

I just can't help it.

I feel so incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to serve a mission.

I am blessed to have the support of my family and friends.

Every day I get more excited.

I am going to miss everyone SO BAD, but I know my mission is only a short time in the big scheme of things.

It will be a sacrifice worth while. 

Hmmm, well I think I have rambled on enough here.

I hope everyone has a good day!

It's lunch time for Staci!