Call Me A Safe Bet, I'm Betting I'm Not

I bought me some neeeeewwww shoes.

Pretty sure I just adore.

They were on Dillard's sales rack and we became instant friends.

They are Steve Madden and I bought them for $21.

I have found so many super cute shoes on that sales rack.

I'll let you be the judge of whether that's a good thing or not.

At least I can say, each pair of shoes I've bought have been under $30.

Check it out someday.

You never know what you'll find.

And I'm all about a good deal.

Go On by Jack Johnson

(By the way, I wanna go surfing.

Or just to the beach.

Or both.

Both would be preferred.)

"There are seasons in our lives, seasons when we can prepare and work, when the sun shines and the air is warm. And there are other seasons when the storms of life would beat upon us and destroy us if they could. Summer is the time of preparation against the harshness of winter." 

-Gordon B. Hinckley

I Need This Old Train To Break Down

Madly by Tristan Prettyman

Dare You to Move by Switchfoot

I know I posted 'Dare You to Move' a couple days ago but I'm posting it again, because, well, this is my blog and I can do what I want. 

This song has taken on a completely new and deeper meaning to me.

As I have mentioned on here, we put our dog down last Saturday.

That afternoon I was cleaning my room and this song came on Pandora.

The phrase, 'I dare you to move, I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor...like today never happened' hit me right to my core.

This past week has been rough to say the least.

Between losing my dog and two friends leaving and work being overwhelming I feel so stripped down.

I just keep listening to this song over and over.

Close my eyes and let it sink in.

I am all about optimism and focusing on the good and always seeing the beauty around you, but I also think there is a time when we need to allow ourselves to break down.

To mourn.

To ponder things and look around.

This week has been that time for me.

And then I will lift myself up off the floor and move like today never happened.

Breakdown by Jack Johnson. 

Lay Your Armor Down

Ten Steps to a Joyful and Enthusiastic Life

First: Stop putting yourself down. There is a lot that is good in you. Empty your mind of thoughts of failure and start seeing yourself as a competent person.

Second: Eliminate self-pity. Think of what you have, instead of dwelling on what you may have lost.

Third: Quit thinking about yourself. Think of others. Go out and look for someone who needs the help you can give, and give it freely.

Fourth: Remember the words of Goethe: 'He who has a firm will molds the world to himself.' God gave humans something called will. Use it.

Fifth: Have a goal and set an achievable timetable to achieve it.

Sixth: Stop wasting your mental energy on the past, and start thinking about what to do now. Amazing things happen when you think constructively.

Seventh: Every morning and every evening say these words aloud: 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'

Eighth: Every day say three times: 'This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.'

Ninth: Think and practice joy every day.

Tenth: Get enthusiasm; think enthusiasm; live enthusiastically!

-Normal Vincent Peale

Don't Wait by Dashboard Confessional

I've Got A 20 Dollar Bill That Says No One's Ever Seen U Without Makeup

Perfectly Lonely, John Mayer

'We may know much of loneliness. We may know discouragement and frustration. We may know adversity and trouble and pain. I would hope not. But you know, and I know, that suffering comes to many. Sometimes it is mental. Sometimes it is physical. Sometimes it may even be spiritual. Ours is the duty to walk by faith, rising above the evils and trials of the world. We are sons and daughters of God. Ours is a divine birthright. Ours is a divine destiny. '

-Gordon B. Hinckley

-I had my physical checkup for my mission papers this morning. There is nothing more humbling than peeing in a cup.-

I'd Prefer Not To Be Rescued

I feel like my heart has been ripped wide open.

My feelings are completely on my sleeves.

But I actually kind of like when this happens, because it reminds me of how alive I am.

I've learned not to be afraid of life.

I've been diving into music.

Here are a few of my favorites I've been listening to:

More by Tyrone Wells

Dare You to Move by Switchfoot

Where I Stood by Missy Higgins

Rescued by Jack's Mannequin

Cuddle Fuddle by Passion Pit

Jesus Christ by Brand New

Good To Sea by Pinback

Seventy Times 7 by Brand New

Heart of Life by John Mayer

I love music.
I seriously do not know where or what or who I would be without it.

'No it won't all go the way it should. Fear is a friend misunderstood. But I know the heart of life is good.'

Bye Bye Dixie Pup

Well,

It is done.

My puppy is gone.

It was an awful car ride over to the vet.

Once we got there it became even worse.

Luckily one of the ladies working noticed all of us with tears in our eyes and realized who we were so she let us go ahead into one of the rooms.

I don't want to go into too much detail or be too graphic, but it was bizarre to have her breathing one second and then the next feel her slowly disappear.

It was the second time I've seen my dad cry my entire life.

We buried her in our backyard.

We put her toys, her sweater and snuggie and red blanket with her.

It is extremely sad. I'm not even going to lie.

I had to go up to my room and break down.

It's so weird to think I won't have a dog wandering around my house anymore.

It definitely was for the best though.

She had a great life.

There are so many memories I will hold on to.

I remember her digging all over in the backyard and getting into our garden and eating the tomatoes.

I remember her running around like an idiot. Everywhere.

I remember her cute little faces and noises.

I remember her not so cute faces and noises.

I remember her chasing squirrels and birds. And catching them.

I remember when she bit me and I begged my parents to not put her down.

I remember her tricks, 'cookie' and 'would you rather be an OSU Cowboy or dead'.

I remember her going crazy and barking when the doorbell would ring.

I remember when she could no longer hear the doorbell.

I remember having to thaw out her frozen Bil-Jac food. So annoying.

I remember having to warn everybody that she would bite them if they touched her.

I remember that Shelbi and I would pretend to be cowboys and Dixie was our horse.

I remember playing 'dogs' with her.

I remember when me, my mom and Shelbi were out in a lake and Dixie noticed us and ran off the dock and swam out to us.

I remember when we were at a hotel and we couldn't find Dixie in the room and me and Shelbi saw her standing on all fours on the VERY EDGE of the railing on the balcony. Crazy dog!

I remember her laying by me as I did my morning workout.

I remember we bought a bunch of chocolate and left her in the car with it....let's just say she left us a little something too when we got back.

I remember her doing the stanky leg.

I remember her and Taffy getting into a fight and her breaking his jaw. One tough cookie.

I remember her fighting a lot of animals....

I remember taking her hiking with us.

I remember taking her running with me.

I remember snuggling up to her whenever I was sad. She always gave the best hugs.

I remember her getting older right before my eyes.

I remember her running into the walls, jumping over something wayyyy before she needed to because her sight and depth perception were pretty much gone, losing her hearing, and some bowel control. That was fun. 

I will remember and miss her forever.

Until we meet again Dixie.

I love you. 

Drops Of Jupiter

Oh man oh man.

So, Brandon has officially left the building.

He was set apart last night and then jetted off to Provo to the MTC this morning.

I'm so glad I was able to be present at his setting apart.

It was a great experience for me since I'll be in that chair in a few months.

I'm so so so sosososososososososososooooooooo happy for Brandon.

He has been SUCH a good friend to me.

He just accepted me as a friend, no questions asked.

We actually became friends on a day last fall that I really needed a friend.

I was so grateful that he stepped up to the plate and stuck by my side all these months.

Most of the time I probably wasn't as good of a friend to him as I should have been, but he still showed me kindness and friendship.

Last night I was thinking about how much longer I have until I leave.

I'm hoping to leave in December. I know it's ultimately up to the Lord when I leave, but December is what I'm aiming for.

Six months right?

That seemed like a lot of time.

Well, I broke it down to weeks and it's about 30 weeks until I'll leave.

My mouth just hung open when I thought that.

THAT'S LIKE NO TIME AT ALL!!!!!!!

I thought there's no way it's only 30 weeks so I got my calender out and counted and sure enough it is.

I can't believe that.

It's coming so fast.

Where has the time gone?

Seriously.

It's June already!!

Life is just so short and it goes by SO FAST!

I remembered one of my favorite quotes last night.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

Live Like You Were Dying, Tim McGraw

When I'm Not Chasing Demons, There's Demons Chasing Me

I don't believe in this so called 'normal life'.

My circle of life doesn't fit in the square white picket fence.

I believe in the free.

I believe in the daring.

I believe straight is the way and narrow is the gate to our way Home,

But my gate is strewn with flowers,

And my way is paved with adventure and draped with wonder.

Life can all be taken away in a snap of a finger.

It comes with no time outs or second chances.

So root your happiness in something deep.

Water it with love and service.

Laugh right in the face of insecurity.

Pay no mind to inhibitions.

Although others will let you down, love freely, give freely.

Don't be afraid to have your heart broken, or to break another's.

All the pain just reminds you of how alive you are.

Don't live your life depending on tomorrow.

Enjoy each day like it's your first, and live each day like it's your last.

Leave your mark by being yourself.

Don't settle for the life others deem best just because they don't have the guts to reach for something greater.

Find your passions and live for them.

Breathe for them. Die for them.

This world needs people like you and I.

This world needs those who feel like they're on a different page than everyone else.

Those who feel like they were meant to do something extraordinary.

Those who have a desire to reach beyond themselves and hold the hand of those who need lifting.

Those who break away.

Those who do what they love and love what they do.

One brave person can make a difference.

Push yourself to your limits.

Stand right on the edge with no fear.

Stretch yourself beyond what you originally thought possible.

Breathe in deep.

Yesterday has vanished and tomorrow may never come.

But in today, there is power.

Take pictures, hold hands, smile, laugh, kiss, work hard, dream big, stay true, be bold.

Most importantly, believe in yourself.

-Staci Emery

So, I've been going through a very strange mix of emotions the past few days.
My parents and I headed down to Dallas for the weekend on Friday.
I was feeling good that day.
I had a drink.
My music.
No work for a few days.
And the open road in front of me.
I love that feeling.
I love the feeling of being free.
I want my life to be something extraordinary.
My mission is only the beginning of a great life for me.
I want adventure.
I hope to forever have this little part of me that itches constantly to get outside.
To travel.
To see new places.
To reach out to those around me.
I want to get my hands dirty.
I want my family to be involved with exploring this world and making their mark by making it a better place.
I want to wake up everyday and feel like I'm living the greatest life ever lived.
I want my children to feel loved and free to express themselves.
I want my husband to feel like the luckiest man on earth.
I don't want anyone to ever hold me back.
If people can't do something themselves they want to tell you that you can't do it. 
This world needs people who break out of the norm and routine and do something else.
This world needs people who soak up every single ounce of life and let it flow out to others, inspiring them to find their passions and go after them.
I also was having a battle within my mind this weekend.
I just felt like I was being bombarded with my old self.
I tried so hard to push all those thoughts away.
I was talking to a friend who is trying to better himself and I told him that it's in those moments of when you're torn between both sides that you really learn how to trust Heavenly Father.
When you let go of yourself and your mistakes and you allow Heavenly Father to take control and allow Him to help you rise above your past you find so much strength within yourself.
I've applied that before and I had to apply it again this weekend.
I am really learning how to lean on Heavenly Father.
I feel myself becoming so much stronger.
I am able to more easily let go of what I want and any unrighteous desires I may have and choose the right way.
It's not always easy, but I am being blessed with the strength to do it.
So, it is becoming easier and easier.

& I Continue To Grow And Change

SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOL'S

OUT

FOR SUMMER!

Kind of....

I'm taking a summer class that starts on June 6th, so I get three weeks off.

I finished everything last Thursday.

That was a bizarre feeling.

Mostly a feeling of relief.

Just one more class and I won't have to deal with school for 18 months.

SUCKAAAAAAS ;).

It was Bethany and Jessica's last days forever at OCCC.

I'll probably end taking a couple classes that will transfer to UCO once I get back.

Because it's cheaper :).

Anyway.....in memory of it being their last day we all took a bunch of pictures together and went out to lunch.

I have really loved going to OCCC.

I took classes there my senior year of high school and just continued there to do my gen eds.

It's a really great school.

I have a lot of fun memories.

I'm so grateful that I was able to meet Bethany and Jessica.

I know Bethany was sad for all of us to go our own directions in the next few months.

She's so loving and such a great friend like that.

We will definitely remain friends and stay in contact.

I have no doubt about it.

You ladies better write me while I'm on my mission!!

Since I've moved around a couple times I'm kind of used to saying goodbye to people and never seeing them again.

It's also made me not like goodbyes at all.

So, if I seem like I don't care that I'm saying goodbye, please know that I do care.

I may avoid the goodbye because I know it's not goodbye forever.

I'm also so grateful for the support I've received from those ladies with my decision to serve a mission.

They're not even members of my church but they're both so excited for me and can't wait to find out where I'll go.

Thank you so much for supporting me!

I love this song A LOT.

My life is becoming so beautiful.

Every day it gets better.

Deciding to serve a mission has been the best decision I could make.

I had marriage options but those didn't bring me the peace and happiness I needed.

Preparing to serve has brought me more peace and happiness than I could ever ask for.

I feel it surrounding and enfolding me washing away every hurt and pain I've ever felt.

Every day tears of gratitude and happiness fill my eyes.

I can't imagine doing anything else with my life right now.

I'm glad that I have the opportunity to take what I'm learning now and what I will learn out on my mission and use it for my future life.

Future family, future career, future whatever.

It all will be better because of my decision to serve.

Dream On

I had a lot of crazy dreams last night.

I had my first dream where I was on my mission.

I think it's weird that I've never dreamed about that before.

This one was SO VIVID.

So incredibly vivid.

I can still feel the excitement and happiness in my chest that I felt in my dream.

When I looked down at myself I saw my name tag with Sister Emery.

I was speaking English so that's a good sign ;).

As some of you know, I'm a littleeeeeeee nervous to have to learn a new language.

It was so disappointing .......and almost confusing when I woke up.

I was like, dangggg it.......it was just a dream.

Do you think I'm excited to go or what? ;)

I just wish December would hurry uppppp.

At least, I hope that's when I leave.

Cross your fingers.

I've noticed as I have continued to prepare for the mish I have started to care less and less about certain things.

I have been able to focus on things that MATTER and cut out the minor details that don't.

I have learned the importance of soaking up every moment as well.

There are a lot of 'last time for 18 months' moments that have passed.

Like birthdays and holidays.

I know I am coming back but I want to develop the attitude of soaking up every moment and letting nothing pass by me.

This life is so short and we never know when our time is up.

This is something I have really been thinking about a lot the past week.

It was my friend's birthday and I bought him the long board that he wanted.....and if you don't know, long boards ARE NOT cheap.

Well right after I bought it I got a text from him that said he almost died and he was on his way to the clinic where he was working.

I won't go into details there but he's still alive.

It made me stop and think about how much value and time and effort we put into material possessions.

If he had died that long board would be worthless.

What would be of worth is the time spent with him.

The love and care and kindness showed to him.

I'm grateful for that step back I was able to take in that moment.

The older I have become the less value I have put into material possessions.

But after this past week I think I have come to understand it on a better level.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having nice things and presenting ourselves and our homes in an attractive manner.

But don't let that be our focus and drive.

I have learned that there is something bigger and greater to set our sights and hearts on.

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

Matthew 6:19–21

Even On My Weakest Days, I Get A Little Bit Stronger

I had a pretty good weekend with Mother's Day and all.

Saturday my mom, my sister and I went to Yukon for our friend's baby shower.

This girl and I were BEST friends throughout elementary school.

Almost inseparable.

Our parents were friends as well

It was a sad day when my family decided to pack up and move to Utah for a few years.

But it was good to see her and I wish her the best of luck with her little one.

On Sunday the grandparents came over and we had chicken, shrimp grits and green beans.

Yummers.

Shelbi and I (mostly Shelbi) made cupcakes.

I just helped out with the lady bugs and Shelbi did everything else.

After that Mom and Mema opened their gifts.

Then we all just had good ol' family time.

 

 

 

 Skyping with family in Virginia! 

 

Create Your Own Life & Then Go Out & Live It

GAHLEE!
PRAISE THE LORD!
So, I'm taking an Intro. to Computers & Applications class and the unit we're on is Access.
WELL let me tell YOU...
I have been fighting that STUPID thing for WEEKS!!!!!!!!
I could not figure out for the life of me how in the heck to do the homework.
Like serious stressing.
Almost in tears at the library.
It's an online class and my teacher is MIA most of the time.
The homework is due this Saturday so this week I knew I had to buckle down and try to figure it out.
I prayed for help, because I seriously could not do it.
WELL yesterday AND today I finished the homework and got an A on the test.
WA! BAM!
Thank you Heavenly Father.
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.
Soooooooooo glad that's over.
Now I'm on to Power Point.
That one is in the baaaaaag ;).


Also, I'm a little obsessed with this song right now...


I don't really know how I got here
But I'm sure glad that I did
And it's crazy to think that ONE LITTLE THING
Could have changed all of it

Maybe it didn't turn out like I planned
Maybe that's why I'm SUCH a lucky [woman]


For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the [guys] that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
THANK GOD for all I missed
Because I led me here to this


Like the [guy] that I loved in High School
Who said [he] could do better
Or that college I wanted to go to
Until I got that letter

All the fights and the tears and the heartache

I thought I'd never get through
And the moment I almost gave up
All led me here to you

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the [guys] that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
THANK GOD for all I missed
Because I led me here to this

I didn't understand it way back when
But sitting here right now it all makes perfect sense

How I cried when my [grandpa] passed away
But now I've got an angel looking out for me today
SO NOTHING IS A MISTAKE

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the [guys] that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
THANK GOD for all I missed
Because it led me here to this
IT LED ME HERE TO THIS

-This, Darius Rucker

I LOVE THIS SONG.

I think I have listened to it twenty times already today.

It's just so true that little things change our course of direction and lead us to where we are supposed to be.

Where we will be most happy.

I think back to events and choices and situations and happenings and small moments that have led me to where I am today and like the song says, 'it all makes perfect sense'.

I have really learned not to complain too much when things don't go the way we planned.

It happens for a reason.

Trust me :).

Things DEFINITELY DID NOT go the way I planned but hey, I am the happiest and most satisfied I have been my whole life.

Heavenly Father has it under control.

He knows what He's doing.

Trust Him. 

My sister shared this note with me one time. 

I absolutely love it.

Please read it. 

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be - your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles, you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity - all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience - they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it