Thank you to all who listened and all who came to my open house after.
Your support means more than you'll ever know!
I'm grateful for the people I have in my life.
I just want to start by saying that I haven’t always wanted to serve a mission. I didn’t dream about it when I was a young girl and worked towards it my whole life. That’s not how it went down. It’s only been the past year or so that I’ve contemplated and decided to serve a mission.
I was asked to use one of President Monson’s talks in last month’s Ensign as a reference for my talk. His talked is called, Precious Promises of The Book of Mormon.
One of the promises that he lists is peace. In the Topical Guide next to peace it says: contentment and comfort. Peace, contentment and comfort are what I want to focus on right now.
Let me go back to the time when I first started thinking about going on a mission. It was towards the end of the summer in 2010. Certain things and changes had happened that left me feeling very lost, very lonely, and very confused with what to do with myself. I’ve had my fair share of these emotions throughout my life before and each time they would show up I would turn away from my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The world will offer you anything you want but it’s always fleeting. It’s always hollow.
This time I decided to try something different. I got out my scriptures each day and I studied them. I would get on my knees and pray sincerely to my Heavenly Father. I began to change my mind set a little towards more spiritual things. Over the weeks I began to feel something that I wasn’t really used to feeling. I felt peace. I felt happy. Because of this I desired to share this precious gift with others. I began to look up different talks about missions and I thought then that I wanted to serve one. I still had a little hesitation though because I had over a year before I would be 21 and able to serve and so much could happen so I didn’t want to make my final decision yet.
Satan saw this hesitation and wasted no time throwing the distractions at me. I began to lose that peace I had felt. Things got a little confusing again with different life decisions and paths. I’ll spare you all the details and I’ll just say that it was this past March that it finally felt right in my heart that I should serve a mission.
The months between when I first started thinking about serving a mission and the time in March when I got my answer I am so grateful for. I would not be who I am today with those wonderful, horrible, beautiful months and the lessons I learned during them. It was in those months that I truly came to know my brother and my savior Jesus Christ. I came to know of the power of his atonement and how because he suffered everything for us we can be healed. I came to know His mercy and his love. I felt it washing over me healing all my hurt and cleansing me and making me a new person. I was forever changed.
I think some of the most beautiful lessons in life are learned through great hurt. I’ve come to view trials with much gratitude. To me, it’s then that we see life at its best. We see the workings of our Heavenly Father refining us and preparing us to meet Him. Through those trials I witnessed the promise of peace from The Book of Mormon. As I obeyed my Heavenly Father and read His word I found peace. I found comfort. I found contentment. In the midst of my trials certain verses would bring me the answers and the peace I needed.
In President Monson’s talk he mentions an experience he had. He said, “Many years ago I stood at the bedside of a young father as he hovered between life and death. His distraught wife and their two children stood nearby. He took my hand in his and, with a pleading look, said, “Bishop, I know I am about to die. Tell me what happens to my spirit when I do.” I offered a silent prayer for heavenly guidance and noticed on his bedside table a copy of the triple combination. I reached for the book and fanned the pages. Suddenly I discovered that I had, with no effort on my part, stopped at the 40th chapter of Alma in the Book of Mormon”…he continues, “I next saw the wife and children at the funeral. I think back to that night when a young man pleaded for truth and, from the Book of Mormon, heard the answer to his question.”
From those verses he spoke words that brought comfort to that young father and his family. I have had a similar experience. A few months ago I found myself on my bed with tears streaming down my face. I was feeling very inadequate and insecure about myself and my ability to serve a mission. I, like the young man, looked towards my Heavenly Father and with a pleading look asked; why is this so hard. If I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing why is it so hard. Help me out. I decided to write about it on my blog and I had a scripture in mind that I wanted to use, but as I grabbed my scriptures they fell open to 1 Nephi 20:10, “For behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. “ I, also, like the young man, pleaded for truth and from The Book of Mormon received my answer. From that verse I drew comfort in knowing that Heavenly Father had chosen me and called me to the work as a missionary and through those trials I was being refined more into who He needed me to be.
From March until now I have continued to witness some of the promises of The Book of Mormon that President Monson mentioned in his talk. I believe that the things I experienced in the months before March were necessary and preparation for what was coming. My faith had grown and my trust in Christ had grown.
One of the other promises he mentioned is an added measure of the spirit. As I’ve continued to read The Book of Mormon and pray and do all those kinds of things I have noticed a tremendous added measure of the spirit in my life. This has been such a blessing for me. In 2 Nephi 32:2 it says, “Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.” Finally deciding to go on a mission was a tough decision. But as I feasted upon the words of Christ and called upon Him through prayer I knew what I was to do through the spirit. And it wasn’t just my decision to serve there’s been different situations as I’ve prepared that I wasn’t sure what to do but having that added measure of the spirit helped guide me and figure out what was right.
Also, as I’ve had to make changes and adjustments for my mission the spirit has helped me see things more clearly. There’s a scripture in Jacob 4:13 half way through it says, “For the spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are and of things as they really will be.” There have been many things that I’ve had to let go of in my process of preparing for a mission. As I prayed to my Heavenly Father to feel the spirit more and to see things clearly the spirit showed me people and things as they really were and as they really will be. It made it easier to let things go when I could see more clearly and have a better understanding that those just weren’t good things to have in my life, or they just weren’t necessary anymore. Not everything I had to let go of was bad. It just wasn’t necessary anymore.
Having an added measure of the spirit has helped me view the world and people differently. It’s helped me treat people with more love and patience. There is a scripture in Mosiah 4 that I love that relates to this. It says:
“And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.
“And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.
Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—
But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.
For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?
And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy.
And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.”
As I’ve prepared for my mission I’ve prayed to develop charity and compassion for those around me and having an added measure of the spirit has made a difference. Instead of judging others based on what they’ve done in their past I see them for what they can become. Looking at my own self as I was in the past and where I am today I wish for everyone to rise to their potential and see their worth in the eyes of their Heavenly Father.
The last promise I want to talk about that President Monson mentions is the promise of incomprehensible joy to those who become instrument[s] in the hands of God. I remember a time when I was a teenager and I asked my dad for a blessing and I can’t remember what exactly it said but it said something along the lines of if I obeyed Heavenly Father or did his will that I would experience joy like I never had before. Later that night I was reading in my scriptures and I read in Helaman 5 and I read verses 40-47 and those verses hit me so hard. And to set this up for you: Helaman’s sons Nephi and Lehi have been teaching among the Lamenites and at one point they get thrown into prison and the Lamenites try to kill them but Nephi and Lehi are circled about with fire but are not burned and the people have a dark cloud come over them and a voice comes and calls them to repentence and there’s a man named Aminadab and he was actually born a Nephite but had dissented from them and the Lamenite people ask him what all this means and these next verses are what touched me. They say:
“And it came to pass that the Lamanites said unto him: What shall we do, that this cloud of darkness may be removed from overshadowing us?
And Aminadab said unto them: You must repent, and cry unto the voice, even until ye shall have faith in Christ, who was taught unto you by Alma, and Amulek, and Zeezrom; and when ye shall do this, the cloud of darkness shall be removed from overshadowing you.
And it came to pass that they all did begin to cry unto the voice of him who had shaken the earth; yea, they did cry even until the cloud of darkness was dispersed.
And it came to pass that when they cast their eyes about, and saw that the cloud of darkness was dispersed from overshadowing them, behold, they saw that they were encircled about, yea every soul, by a pillar of fire.
And Nephi and Lehi were in the midst of them; yea, they were encircled about; yea, they were as if in the midst of a flaming fire, yet it did harm them not, neither did it take hold upon the walls of the prison; and they were filled with that joy which is unspeakable and full of glory.
And behold, the Holy Spirit of God did come down from heaven, and did enter into their hearts, and they were filled as if with fire, and they could speak forth marvelous words.
And it came to pass that there came a voice unto them, yea, a pleasant voice, as if it were a whisper, saying: Peace, peace be unto you, because of your faith in my Well Beloved, who was from the foundation of the world.”
For very long time in my life I had my own cloud of darkness overshadowing me. I would search and plead and try to find something to lift it and to remove it but nothing would work. It wasn’t until I repented and came unto Christ that the cloud was removed from me and I was filled with that joy which is unspeakable and full of glory. I’ve felt my heart filled with fire. I’ve had whispers say to me, “peace, peace be unto you because of your faith in my Well Beloved…” I had a change of heart as the Lamenite people did. And because of it I have chosen to become an instrument in the hands of God. Granted, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies and joy all the time, I don’t think we’re ever promised that, but I have felt that joy and I look forward to feeling it even more as I teach the people in Riverside, California.
I am grateful for the opportunity and privilege to serve a mission. I am scared to death but I’m excited and look forward to all that I will experience and the people I will get to meet. The pull of the world is strong. It really is. As I’ve prepared for my mission I’ve battled with my old self almost every day; old way of thinking; and old way of dealing with things. Temptation lies everywhere. I’ve come to know there is definitely an opposing force out there. Satan is real. But what I’ve also come to know is that Heavenly Father is real. Jesus Christ is real. They are there. They love us. I’ve felt them weep beside when I’ve wept and embraced me when I’ve smiled.
And really, that’s what it’s all about to me. Through the confusion and chaos and clutter of the world, there is joy to be found. There is happiness here. There is peace. We can grow confidence in ourselves as we draw closer to our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon. I know it is the word of God. I know the Bible to be the word of God as well. The two combined make a complete Gospel. I know this to be the church of Christ restored on the Earth. The peace I’ve felt and the comfort I’ve found have made it to where I could never deny it. There’s some verses in 2 Nephi 33 that I want to close with. I read it the other night and it hit me hard and I feel like I can relate to it in a general sense but also as a missionary. It says:
“But behold, there are many that harden their hearts against the Holy Spirit, that it hath no place in them; wherefore, they cast many things away which are written and esteem them as things of naught.
But I, Nephi, have written what I have written, and I esteem it as of great worth, and especially unto my people. For I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, because of them; and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry.
And I know that the Lord God will consecrate my prayers for the gain of my people. And the words which I have written in weakness will be made strong unto them; for it persuadeth them to do good; it maketh known unto them of their fathers; and it speaketh of Jesus, and persuadeth them to believe in him, and to endure to the end, which is life eternal.
And it speaketh harshly against sin, according to the plainness of the truth; wherefore, no man will be angry at the words which I have written save he shall be of the spirit of the devil.
I glory in plainness; I glory in truth; I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell.
I have charity for my people, and great faith in Christ that I shall meet many souls spotless at his judgment-seat.
…all ye ends of the earth, hearken unto these words and believe in Christ; and if ye believe not in these words believe in Christ. And if ye shall believe in Christ ye will believe in these words, for they are the words of Christ, and he hath given them unto me; and they teach all men that they should do good.
And if they are not the words of Christ, judge ye—for Christ will show unto you, with power and great glory, that they are his words, at the last day; and you and I shall stand face to face before his bar; and ye shall know that I have been commanded of him to write these things, notwithstanding my weakness.
And I pray the Father in the name of Christ that many of us, if not all, may be saved in his kingdom at that great and last day.”
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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