You Are Enough

Okay, so...

The past few weeks I've been struggling with feeling inadequate and totally unprepared for my mission.
I only have nine weeks!

I've heard those feelings are normal though.

But, it's really been bugging me and I've been pondering a lot about it.

Wondering if I'm where I need to be spiritually, wondering if I know the Gospel as well as I should, wondering whether I have a strong testimony, wondering whether I'll be a good missionary.

I think those are legitimate concerns and check points. 

But it's really taken away from the excitement and joy that I could be experiencing right now.

The other day I had a revelation that I am enough.

The people in Riverside, California need ME.

They need Staci Emery.

I shouldn't try to change myself so much to fit who I think I need to be and completely lose who I am.

They need who I am.

This past weekend during General Conference a couple talks mentioned things to bring with you on your mission and they listed: a testimony, a desire to serve, a love for others, being worthy of the spirit and being ready to work. 

I really appreciated those talks because I've just felt like I needed to do all these different things and read all this different stuff to be ready when really I just need a testimony and a desire to serve. That's what it comes down to.

I know that this is a sacred calling and as such there's a reason that Staci Emery was called to serve in Riverside, California. There's somebody somewhere in my mission that needs my experience, my perspective, my love, my humor, my testimony.

I strive to be who Heavenly Father needs me to be. He has and will continue to refine me and make me better. And I will take my mission seriously and make sure I stay worthy of the spirit, but my personality and what I have to offer is what is needed in Riverside. I'm weird, I'm goofy, I laugh a lot and find humor in the smallest things, I listen well, I'm compassionate, I'm sensitive to other's feelings, I'm quick to forgive and let go, I'm kind, I'm super easy going.

All this applies not only to a mission, but just life in general.

Although I think it's good to strive to be better and to do better; I don't think it's necessary to put unneeded pressure on yourself and to beat yourself up because you don't meet some idea that you've daydreamed in your head.

The world will always tell you that you're not good enough.

They'll tell you that you need to change this and change that, and be this and be that.

You might even tell yourself that.

Be who you are.
Don't compare yourself to other people. Don't worry about what's going on with them. Focus on who Heavenly Father needs you to be. He has blessed you with experiences throughout your whole life that have shaped you. Allow Him to refine you and make you who you are.

This is something that I've been learning a lot lately and it's something I feel very passionate about.

Embrace who you are and leave your mark by being yourself.

You are enough.